i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
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