Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
