Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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