i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Randomize
