She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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