my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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