well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
whose parrot is this?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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