I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
