i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
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Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
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Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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