ya dads aren't the best wingmen
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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