weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize