Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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