pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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