remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
