i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
