afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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