I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I know her cup size but not her name....
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
