So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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