i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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