as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
