I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
