I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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