Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
