Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
