his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
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i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
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I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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