sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
