a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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