I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
COCAINE IS GR8
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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