i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
