Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
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Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
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