if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
