So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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