I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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