just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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