So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
