P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
