So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
