I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
