best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
