the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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