I wannas sexs uuuuu
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
