If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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