last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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