1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize