Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This baby is an asshole
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
