ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
