I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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