yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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