I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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