What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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