i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I need moral support for this bender
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
as a side note pls kill me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
