I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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