you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
