He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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